A relationship in credit

A relationship in credit

 

keep your balance in credit

Relationships are built on many things;

  • Trust
  • Rapport
  • Understanding
  • Connection

I could go on.

 

Relationships are maintained through integrity, trust…………by keeping your balance in credit.

 

Being a leader of team in an organisation you are employed to do a job, you have a role to play, you have KPIs to meet which ultimately link to the organisation’s success, bottom line. So when thinking of your relationships as a leader they too have a level of business nous about them, they too need to turn a profit. They too need to remain in credit for the relationship to continue, to be nourished, to succeed.

 

Without credit you are trying to build a relationship on false foundations, you are already in debt and this places a different lens on the relationship to one that is in credit.

 

So how do you establish and maintain a relationship that is in credit?

 

Work with others in a way that will see your balance remain in credit.

 

That could be:

  • Get curious to understand others, their needs and expectations;
  • Establish your own expectations of self and others and communicate them;
  • Strategies to wrangle your emotions and have strong and meaningful state management;
  • Deliver on your commitments;
  • Listen and be truly present – nothing worse than having someone check their phone every 5 seconds;
  • Acknowledge your errors and own your actions.

 

Leadership is about relationships, it is about owning your own actions, attitudes and outcomes. Own your share of your relationships and manage them like a business, keep them in credit.

 

A classic line from a classic movie – ‘…your ego is writing cheque’s your body can’t cash…’ (Top Gun). Maverick is trying to be the best of the best yet is losing credit from his interactions rather than working for the win/win and achieving credit, which ultimately elevates you to a level of success.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love that movie for so many reasons (and no it’s not because of Tom cruise) one being, through challenges you find your best self – Lead self to lead others.

 

So in building your leadership career, leading your team with confidence, start with strong relationships that are in credit, after all leadership is all about relationships, with the most important one being with yourself.

 

www.sherrenedkins.com.au/work-with-me/

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Bring balance back to your state

Bring balance back to your state

Every experience gives you something for the next

You walk into the room and you feel like your leadership foundation is unstable, a little shaky. Your hands are a little clammy and the knees are knocking. Why?

It’s time for you to stand up in front of the team and present.

You can be so prepared for situations, information ready, practiced time and time again……..and then – it all feels like its about to fall apart. Your mind starts to wonder, and not to what you need to present, but more to ‘what will they think’, ‘what if I miss something’……………………………

What if you nail it? What if?

You are in charge of your mind and therefore your results.

Emotional intelligence talks about ones’ ability to be aware of their emotions and those of others in the moment and ones’ ability to understand that and manage themselves in that moment, subsequently managing their relationships.

In being aware of not only your emotions in a given situation but your triggers to those emotions you give yourself a greater advantage to develop strategies that will be applicable and resourceful to you. 

What are your go to strategies to support you in this situation, to bring some stability back to your leadership approach and you?

Its time to bring in your reinforcements. Here are 5 tips for bringing some balance back to your state:

  • One deep breath – taking back conscious control of your breathing, and deep breaths, those breathes that fill the diaphragm and bring much needed oxygen to the brain.
  • Situational anchor – many public speakers create a ritual or anchor to bring them into a conscious state of focus, confidence, whatever they need for that activity. Imagine as you walk out to present you step into a sphere of confidence, that takes away your nerves and replaces them with excitement. Something that you carry in your pocket for when the need arises.
  • Ice breaker – engage in a fun activity to lighten the mood and enable everyone to feel settled and ready for your presentation. Ice breakers are fantastic for group and facilitation work, a circuit breaker for the current mood, environment, and mental shift for the next item. You could have a quick quiz (trivial or topical) that adds a little humour, or a picture on screen and ask the team a question related to the picture. Whatever you do, its an opportunity for you to settle into your presentation and for the team to settle into their role as listeners and observers.
  • Focus point – having a point (or person) in the room that you can focus on throughout your presentation to keep you calm and relaxed.
  • Visualisation – just before walking out as you take a deep breath close your eyes and visualise the environment; you standing in front of everyone looking relaxed, comfortable and confident, seeing the audience nodding and smiling, engaging with what you are saying. Bring the colour and sounds to the visualisation – what are you saying to yourself…..’This is my time and I’ve got this’

 

Whatever your strategy is, it needs to break the current state to give you an opportunity to shift your focus and state to one of stability.

 

After applying your strategy and successfully presenting to the team, with them engaged and inspired to move forward – take a moment to be IN that moment. Take note of how you are feeling, and what you seeing and hearing. What is the environment like? Take time to reflect and acknowledge your effort, the outcome, and now you have the ingredients for a strategy for your next presentation.

 

Every experience gives you something for the next. 

 

www.sherrenedkins.com.au/work-with-me 

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Characteristics of a Delta Team

Characteristics of a Delta Team

 

 

High functioning, connected and engaged

Teams are the life blood of organisational success. Made up of many individuals, the interactions between team members has a significant bearing on the success of the team, and of cause the organisation. 

Team members assume roles as part of the greater whole, those roles have tasks that are interdependent to the relationships around them. So what happens when the team is not working like a well-oiled machine? 


Imagine this – Team A

  • People do not acknowledge each other when they walk in and say good morning, or goodbye at the end of the day
  • Meetings or conversations are more focused on the pings that their phones generate than what is being said by others
  • There is a clear operation of silos, limited understanding across teams/disciplines and therefore disconnect in action
  • Gossip and drama are regular in conversation
  • Support for each other is less likely if it means change
  • People don’t speak up because they believe it’s a waste of time.

Their performance is challenged, relationships are strained and their ability to adapt is lacking.

When we look at the current and future work environments building trusting and respectful relationships is critical. Not just to get work done but to truly understand the purpose behind the work and who/how/where to get things done. 


What happens in teams that are working interdependently, that are engaging with the colleagues and performing?


Imagine this – Delta team

  • You say hello or goodbye and others respond.
  • They listen to each other – when you speak others listen, and they get curious to understand what you are saying. Collaboration is strong.
  • They care about each other; they are socially and emotionally aware of what is happening and how they can assist.
  • There is no place for drama – gossip and drama are ‘no go’ zone. Conversation is constructive and focused.
  • Team members value and respect each other, which shows in the way they interact.
  • Learning is a consistent process, with reflection and discussion about how it has worked/not worked with a focus of continuous improvement.
  • Feedback is fundamental to the team function and its reciprocal and respected.


Delta Team is productive, powerful and engaged. Committed to a shared vision, members of a Delta Team contribute the best of what they have to offer, every day, for the benefit of all.  

They are a well-oiled machine!

Research shows that emotional intelligence is at the centre of successful team operations. Studies have found that teams with greater emotional intelligence are high functioning………they also have greater ability to adapt, and understand each other’s emotional expressions and link that to performance. Team members have a sense of belonging and therefore a sense of motivation to contribute. 


Where is your team?


www.sherrenedkins.com.au/work-with-me 

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A daily practice for leadership success

A daily practice for leadership success

 

Reflection – learn and let go!

It’s the end of the working day. It has been a busy, productive and challenging day all in one. All you want to do it leave the office and get home or if you are like me get changed and tackle a physical exercise challenge to let go of the day’s events.
 
The emotions and thoughts that you have experienced throughout the day have taken their toll of you. You are feeling drained, tired, like that bar of chocolate it the fridge is going to be your best friend, like a shower would help wash away the day that has been.
 
The day that ‘has been’……………This is your point to ‘Learn and let go’.
 
The day has occurred, it’s now in the past, however there is so much that you could learn from such days and let go. No dragging this with you into future days.
 
Reflect on the day that was with your own reflective practice. It could be going out and exercising, running the events of the day through your mind, and reflecting on the situation more clearly than when the event occurred. It could be debriefing with your significant other at home. It could be a ‘Reflection Journal’.
 
A reflective practice has so many benefits, including enabling you to let go of the day and enjoy those many other important elements in life. It supports you with your values-based leadership practice, understanding your values and ensuring they are being met, if not what are you doing to nourish yourself to success.
 
Such a practice is a way of reflecting on the events of the day, how you reacted, how others reacted, then step out of your shoes into an observer position and ask yourself.
 
  • What worked well?
  • What improvements can I make?
  • What have I learnt from this?
  • What do I wish to take forward with me into tomorrow and the future
  • What do I forgive myself for and let go here and now?
 
By using a ‘Reflection Journal’ you get to capture your day in words, reflect on those words – how do they resonate with you now? – and then write out your goals/tasks to support you to make the changes that you wish make as well as highlight your learnings.
 
Reflection is not just an image in a mirror or a pond of water, it is a practice to grow and nourish yourself to success. It is a way to learn and let go!

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Create lasting habits

Create lasting habits

 

Practice, practice, practice

You set yourself a new year resolution, to exercise more, move more. You use to do it all the time and it was a great way for you to reflect and let go of what was weighing heavy on your mind. You had a daily practice that supported your health, wellbeing as well as clarity of thought and action in your leadership role.

 

Currently you are not exercising much, your habit of daily exercise has not been occurring for a while, you are feeling sluggish, your mind is foggy, your stress levels are a little high and your resilience is not as springy as it use to be.

 

My first two questions to you would be:

1. When did you stop moving? and

2. What was happening at that time for you?

 

When you ‘use to’ do something routinely, it was a well formed habit. There has to be a defining moment that generated the change for you to the habit.

Was it a change in job, work hours, health or something else?

 

Getting clear on what may have been the trigger is a great starting point for you to understand how to recreate this habit, and swish away the habit you no longer want.

 

Habits are defined by you. You teach yourself to have them so you can teach yourself to change them, creating the habit you want.

 

Habits play a critical role in your leadership success, whether it is a habit of being organised, punctual, setting boundaries, healthy eating to fuel the mind and body or exercise to help with stress management, each habit has an intrinsic value to you and your leadership practice. Knowing this will help you create the habits that you want and need.

 

To get clear on your desired state, the habit that you want to create, you to need to understand what is behind the habit you use to have and where you are now.

 

What does it look like for you when in full swing?

 

How will the habit benefit you?

 

How will you enact your new habit?

 

Make the commitment, set the intention and take action. Whenever you are developing a new skills, new habit, the magic is in the action.

 

Practice, practice, practice.

 

Habits can become unconscious actions, become part of you and your daily activities.

 

Now that you have clarity on your habit, what it looks like in action and what it gives you – put it into action.

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Leading with Self Respect

Leading with Self Respect

 

Lead self to lead others

To create transformational change, strong social connection within teams, high performance and delivery of outcomes there is a crucial ingredient to the mix.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

The more respect you have from those you are leading the greater the impact of your leadership intention. When we look at many great leaders, they generated a following through a powerful cause, something that people had respect for and therefore followed. 

We hear the stories of leaders who are doing grand things, uniting their tribe, transforming an organisation from horror to halo, developing many powerful leaders along the way. How?

R.E.S.P.E.C.T – Aretha Franklin you had it right girl.

Great leaders create an unwavering swell of respect from those they are leading, how? Where does this come from?

To generate such respect from their team and followers the leader has manifested a healthy level of respect for themselves.

I have a saying, ‘What we generate for ourselves internally, is what we manifest for ourselves externally’ – leading from the inside out’.

Respect for self is so powerful, attracting respect from others. Law of attraction in action. Respect yourself, your whole self. Know what respect means to you, what is looks like, sounds like and feels like.

Richard Branson said, ‘Respect is how you treat everyone, not just those you want to impress’ – EVERYONE, that includes you!

The more you respect yourself you generate a vibration, an aura, that others are attracted to, pick up on and want to be around.

Our unconscious mind works in magical ways and it’s are always looking for signs, behaviours, attitudes that will support us, guide us. Staff look to their manager, their leader, for these signs and what you present from the inside out is key.

I believe ‘Respect’ is a core characteristic for a great leader, and that is why it is one of my 12 leadership principles. I embrace respect both ways, like I do with all my principles of leadership. When I am respecting myself I have a greater ability and vibration to create respectful relationships with others.

The true definition of respect is ‘…a deep admiration of one’s abilities; regarding one’s feelings, rights and wishes….’

How do you show deep admiration for yourself?

How do you show regard for your feelings, rights and wishes?

Here are my tips on how to respect self.

  1. Respectful self-talk– the words we speak and hear have a great impact on our mind and therefore our identity and beliefs. Show respect to yourself through your self-talk that supports you.
  2. Seek to understand – when you are feeling certain emotions, experiencing certain thoughts and going against your self grain – ask why. Seek to understand what is behind that so you can work through the triple AAA process – Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
  3. Feedback and Celebrate – like with your staff members, give yourself feedback and celebrate what you achieve. Every step closer to the outcome deserves recognition. Respect your efforts through feedback and celebration.
  4. Gratitude – Also is one of my 12 leadership principles. When we are grateful for what we have, what we achieve and what you have the ability to do we are showing respect for our life choices and decisions. Respect your journey through gratitude.
  5. Be authentic – to ‘BE YOU’ shows the utmost respect to yourself. Hiding your true self and ‘BEING’ someone else in your leadership role attracts the same from others.
  6. Set your standard. – This is where personal/professional boundaries come into play. If you want others to respect your boundaries, respect them yourself. Set the standard through your own self respect. Commitments to self are powerful, respecting them is where the magic happens.

 

Respect your map of the world, your experiences, your choices, your values and beliefs. This empowers you to step into your true identity as a leader and rise strong to lead others with self respect.

What is one thing that you are going to do now to respect yourself and rise as the leader you want to ‘BE’?

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Courage in knowing and owning your weaknesses

Courage in knowing and owning your weaknesses

 

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

The classic SWOT analysis, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

We all have skills, capabilities, qualities and characteristics that fall into each of those categories. Over the years I have found and embraced courage in knowing, acknowledging and acting on my weaknesses.

When in a job interview to rattle of your strengths or the elements as to why you can do a job, come more easily than knowing and commenting on your weaknesses….right.

I remember an interview years ago where I was asked what my strengths were and why they would enable me to perform in the role. My response was from a place of courage, a place of standing out from the crowd, a place of going against the grain – well that is how I felt it was at the time.

My response was ‘…in knowing, understanding and acting on my weaknesses is a strength and so I feel it is more important for me to share with you my weaknesses and what I am doing about them, that demonstrates emotional intelligence, self awareness, honesty and the willingness to learn and grow which are all strengths of mine…’ I proceeded to share with the panel what I saw to be my weaknesses and what I was doing to change them, develop them into something or accept and recognise that I was ok with that.

In that exact same moment I believe I demonstrated courage.

I was courageous in not only knowing but highlighting my weaknesses to a recruitment panel, and opening myself to even more critical assessment. I put myself out there, raw and real. I was stepping up and being seen and ready to have a conversation.

Forbes Magazine has written about courage as being ‘the’ defining characteristic of a great leader. Something that sets great leaders apart from good leaders. I see courage as a characteristic that holds depth to ‘walking the trenches’. To reach courage you battle so many other emotions and challenges.

Leadership is not just about sharing the vision, collaborative conversations, enabling and empowering, it is also about being the pointy end of the tree; the top of mountain guiding people to what is on the other side, working with them through the tough ruts, sticky situations, managing resistance and influencing them to break through the resistance.

Leadership is having the courage to be pointy peak, to be the one that is being seen, standing up and holding strong, advocating for the team. Leadership is having the tough conversations.

Courage is key to leadership.

Do you have a fear, something that is blocking you from achieving, a weakness that is holding you back.
To know your weaknesses, acknowledge them and act on them is courage. To put your hand up and say ‘ I don’t know, but I am willing to learn’ is courage. To face a fear, a limitation or block in your life is courage.

It can be one of the most daunting experiences, yet the moment you step over that threshold into the sphere of courage you are in a world of growth and evolving.

Oh by the way – I got the job. The panel were very impressed with what I did, and acknowledged my ‘courage’ in doing so and were looking for someone to be courageous and step up.

www.sherrenedkins.com.au/work-with-me

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Values-Based Leadership is not just an organisational buzz phrase

Values-Based Leadership is not just an organisational buzz phrase.

 

Lead self to lead others

Values – based leadership is usually associated with organisational leadership practice; what about as an individual leadership practice.

Values are filters in our life, they are what we hold important to us, they influence our decision making, our actions and how we go about life.

They are  your inner guidance, your rules, your principles.

As an individual leader your values will play a part in how you operate as a leader individually as well as in an organisation and it is valuable to understand your personal values and how they influence you and your professional situation.

Knowing your own personal values, supports you to lead through your values, supporting you to achieve your own purpose in life. When we operate outside our values, we can have a sense of not fitting in, misalignment, like something doesn’t fit.

Your values are not being met, and we are depleting ourselves!

To operate from a foundation of values you need a clear understanding of your values, what they mean to you and how they can be met. Values drive your behave, which relates to your actions, which in turn relates to how your interact with others and add value to any given situation.

Just like in an organisation, leading through your values creates a culture around your approach to leadership, leading self and leading others.

To lead self, you need to understand what nourishes you and what depletes you as a person and a leader. You need to understand your values. What are your non-negotiables as a person, the things that are a must in your life to achieve wholeness, achieve your goals.

Ask yourself this question, and respond with one or two word answers – What is most important to you?

By answering this question you are starting to discover what drives you and the way you operate, how you filter information, you are starting to discover your values.

Values are with you from the time you are born, and for many early years influenced by your parents. As you start to grow and mature your values change and start to align with you as an individual. Yes you may keep some of those that you were brought up with, some may change, some may have different meaning to you now. Values are a solid life foundation.

In knowing your own values, how they are met and how that influence your way of operating as a leader, gives you a flying start to developing your Values-Based leadership approach, for self and organisation.

4 steps to lead-self with values based-leadership

  1. Self-reflection
    • A true leader must have the ability and strength to look within; be open to what may need improving; celebrate what is working and understand the impact of this. In being able to reflect you are empowering yourself to truly understanding who you are, your values and how you can have them met.

   2. Curiosity to understand

    • The more you seek to understand, the more information you have to see the situation from differing views, therefore consider all elements and support sound decision making. When you are being true to your values, you are more likely to be curious (verse defensive) to understand and achieve the best possible outcome for those involved.

   3. Personal power (confidence in self)

    • Confidence in self is critical to being a leader. The more confidence you have the more action you take. Confidence stems from knowing yourself and enacting where things need to change; its being comfortable to stand up for yourself and those around you, its being comfortable to stand up for what is important to you – your values.

   4. Authenticity

    • Being true to yourself, and living your values is being authentic to you. If you do not know your values, how can you be authentic and true to self. This in turns supports you to build strong trustworthy relationships with others, people know what they are getting and feel they are dealing with a genuine person.

Nourish yourself to success – discover your values and how they make you a better leader for self and others.

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Transform Relationships with this one thing

Transform your Relationships

With this ONE thing…

Once you learn this one thing, watch as all relationships in work and home life flourish.

I am sure that you have had conversations where you have walked away feeling like the other person showed no interest in what you were saying, appeared to be ‘elsewhere’, or just didn’t seem to want to understand. I am also sure that you have have been in conversations where someone has felt the same about you.

For relationships to flourish, whether they are personal or professional, each person’s connection to the conversation needs to build trust, a sense of connection, each party needs to feel as though they are being listened to, understood, there needs to be RAPPORT. Without rapport there is resistance to communication.

The most important person to build rapport with is yourself. Being out of rapport with yourself is like being a fish out of water; you are not in alignment and therefore not trusting yourself to achieve things. Build rapport with yourself first and see your relationships flourish.

Increasing your own self rapport enables you to engage more confidently with your team and others and build rapport with them. We generate a great sense of curiosity and compassion and we are more resilient. If you operate with fear, you lead with fear. If you operate with confidence, you lead with confidence.

Rapport provides each person with the sense of TRUST, COMFORT, and UNDERSTANDING. When you have rapport with someone you have the ability to:

  • Effectively communicate with them;
  • Achieve strong outcomes;
  • Lead with positivity; and
  • Foster a strong and long lasting relationship.

How to build rapport with yourself and others:

  • Be in tune with your emotions and behaviours, be Emotionally Intelligent;
  • Build confidence and personal power. Know your personal boundaries, self care and be confident to uphold those when they are being tested.
  • Truly be present in that moment. Being distracted blocks the ability to build rapport, so remove the blocks and be present in the moment.
  • Actively listen to the other person and use their words when you respond – This is not paraphrasing, it is ‘parrot’ phrasing. By doing this you are truly showing them you are present and listening to what they have to say, and not putting your view of the world on their words.
  • Match and/or mirror movements the other person does, subtly. Again it shows you are present and really paying attention to them;
  • Eye contact – our eyes are not only vision tool that are a communication tools and when you engage in conversation with someone, your eyes play a key role. Eye contact displays respect and shows you are listening.

Achieve SELF RAPPORT to achieve RAPPORT with others.

Work with me to become the best version of yourself, build rapport with yourself and others and watch your relationships flourish.

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Feeling overwhelmed? You need to try this…

Feeling overwhelmed?

You need to try this…

Let me guess, your mind is going 10 thousand miles an hour trying to make sense of all the things that are running around up there. Where do you start so you can breath easy and feel like you have some sense of control and release of stress?

When our mind is ‘full’ there is no more room for creative thinking, for thinking clearly and being able to reframe our negative thoughts to positive and resourceful thoughts. Our thinking mind is only 10% of our overall mind, yet it is the one that we use more often than not, then wonder why we get the big mind clutter.

Mind clutter is usually made up of actions, those good old ‘To Do’ items that you just haven’t got to, or keep avoiding (I know, the I’ll do it later scenario); and thoughts both positive and negative which can turn into the worry, anxiety and of course ‘clutter’.

It’s time to give you mind a rest and clear the clutter!

Experience the Nourish Yourself to Success way of clearing the mind clutter. One whole session at my foundation workshop focuses on clearing the mind clutter, the benefits and the multiple strategies you can use, so you can pick the one that works for you.

Watch my video ‘Clear the Mind Clutter’ (a little sneak peak of what to expect at the workshop) and experience the clarity of thought to propel you forward for success. A simple 5 step strategy to getting the clutter out of your mind, on to paper and then mapped out into meaningful and timely actions. A great way to not only clear the mind clutter but generate momentum of action and achievement.

Click play on the video and let me teach you how.

Play Video

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