Leading with Self Respect

Leading with Self Respect


Lead self to lead others

To create transformational change, strong social connection within teams, high performance and delivery of outcomes there is a crucial ingredient to the mix.


The more respect you have from those you are leading the greater the impact of your leadership intention. When we look at many great leaders, they generated a following through a powerful cause, something that people had respect for and therefore followed. 

We hear the stories of leaders who are doing grand things, uniting their tribe, transforming an organisation from horror to halo, developing many powerful leaders along the way. How?

R.E.S.P.E.C.T – Aretha Franklin you had it right girl.

Great leaders create an unwavering swell of respect from those they are leading, how? Where does this come from?

To generate such respect from their team and followers the leader has manifested a healthy level of respect for themselves.

I have a saying, ‘What we generate for ourselves internally, is what we manifest for ourselves externally’ – leading from the inside out’.

Respect for self is so powerful, attracting respect from others. Law of attraction in action. Respect yourself, your whole self. Know what respect means to you, what is looks like, sounds like and feels like.

Richard Branson said, ‘Respect is how you treat everyone, not just those you want to impress’ – EVERYONE, that includes you!

The more you respect yourself you generate a vibration, an aura, that others are attracted to, pick up on and want to be around.

Our unconscious mind works in magical ways and it’s are always looking for signs, behaviours, attitudes that will support us, guide us. Staff look to their manager, their leader, for these signs and what you present from the inside out is key.

I believe ‘Respect’ is a core characteristic for a great leader, and that is why it is one of my 12 leadership principles. I embrace respect both ways, like I do with all my principles of leadership. When I am respecting myself I have a greater ability and vibration to create respectful relationships with others.

The true definition of respect is ‘…a deep admiration of one’s abilities; regarding one’s feelings, rights and wishes….’

How do you show deep admiration for yourself?

How do you show regard for your feelings, rights and wishes?

Here are my tips on how to respect self.

  1. Respectful self-talk– the words we speak and hear have a great impact on our mind and therefore our identity and beliefs. Show respect to yourself through your self-talk that supports you.
  2. Seek to understand – when you are feeling certain emotions, experiencing certain thoughts and going against your self grain – ask why. Seek to understand what is behind that so you can work through the triple AAA process – Awareness, Acceptance, Action.
  3. Feedback and Celebrate – like with your staff members, give yourself feedback and celebrate what you achieve. Every step closer to the outcome deserves recognition. Respect your efforts through feedback and celebration.
  4. Gratitude – Also is one of my 12 leadership principles. When we are grateful for what we have, what we achieve and what you have the ability to do we are showing respect for our life choices and decisions. Respect your journey through gratitude.
  5. Be authentic – to ‘BE YOU’ shows the utmost respect to yourself. Hiding your true self and ‘BEING’ someone else in your leadership role attracts the same from others.
  6. Set your standard. – This is where personal/professional boundaries come into play. If you want others to respect your boundaries, respect them yourself. Set the standard through your own self respect. Commitments to self are powerful, respecting them is where the magic happens.


Respect your map of the world, your experiences, your choices, your values and beliefs. This empowers you to step into your true identity as a leader and rise strong to lead others with self respect.

What is one thing that you are going to do now to respect yourself and rise as the leader you want to ‘BE’?

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Courage in knowing and owning your weaknesses

Courage in knowing and owning your weaknesses


Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

The classic SWOT analysis, Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

We all have skills, capabilities, qualities and characteristics that fall into each of those categories. Over the years I have found and embraced courage in knowing, acknowledging and acting on my weaknesses.

When in a job interview to rattle of your strengths or the elements as to why you can do a job, come more easily than knowing and commenting on your weaknesses….right.

I remember an interview years ago where I was asked what my strengths were and why they would enable me to perform in the role. My response was from a place of courage, a place of standing out from the crowd, a place of going against the grain – well that is how I felt it was at the time.

My response was ‘…in knowing, understanding and acting on my weaknesses is a strength and so I feel it is more important for me to share with you my weaknesses and what I am doing about them, that demonstrates emotional intelligence, self awareness, honesty and the willingness to learn and grow which are all strengths of mine…’ I proceeded to share with the panel what I saw to be my weaknesses and what I was doing to change them, develop them into something or accept and recognise that I was ok with that.

In that exact same moment I believe I demonstrated courage.

I was courageous in not only knowing but highlighting my weaknesses to a recruitment panel, and opening myself to even more critical assessment. I put myself out there, raw and real. I was stepping up and being seen and ready to have a conversation.

Forbes Magazine has written about courage as being ‘the’ defining characteristic of a great leader. Something that sets great leaders apart from good leaders. I see courage as a characteristic that holds depth to ‘walking the trenches’. To reach courage you battle so many other emotions and challenges.

Leadership is not just about sharing the vision, collaborative conversations, enabling and empowering, it is also about being the pointy end of the tree; the top of mountain guiding people to what is on the other side, working with them through the tough ruts, sticky situations, managing resistance and influencing them to break through the resistance.

Leadership is having the courage to be pointy peak, to be the one that is being seen, standing up and holding strong, advocating for the team. Leadership is having the tough conversations.

Courage is key to leadership.

Do you have a fear, something that is blocking you from achieving, a weakness that is holding you back.
To know your weaknesses, acknowledge them and act on them is courage. To put your hand up and say ‘ I don’t know, but I am willing to learn’ is courage. To face a fear, a limitation or block in your life is courage.

It can be one of the most daunting experiences, yet the moment you step over that threshold into the sphere of courage you are in a world of growth and evolving.

Oh by the way – I got the job. The panel were very impressed with what I did, and acknowledged my ‘courage’ in doing so and were looking for someone to be courageous and step up.


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